Picture 41 students from Langley Fine Arts and D.W. Poppy Secondary in a massive group hug. This was how they wrapped up an annual three day Restorative Action retreat at the Sts’ailes Lhawathet Lalem Healing Retreat Centre. Over the previous 48 hours students learned about Restorative Action, bonded as a group, and were inspired by a special guest speaker.
The Sts’ailes Lhawathet Lalem Healing Retreat Centre is located close to Agassiz, BC. It is a beautiful, peaceful setting with the crystal clear waters of the Chehalis river running right beside the centre. Over the course of the weekend we saw many bald eagles in the trees that line the river. Perhaps one of the best features about the location is that there is limited cell phone coverage so students are able to concentrate on the lessons without the need to text and talk on the phone.
Restorative Action is a needs-based response to harmful conflict situations. It is grounded in Restorative Justice Values and Principles. By taking Restorative Action training, students learn to mediate conflict between their peers. These trained student mediators become a part of their schools’ Restorative Action team and help other students find peaceful ways to resolve conflict. During the retreat, students learned about the cycle of anger, assumptions and other factors that contribute to harmful conflicts. They learned and practiced important communication skills such as body language, empathic statements, open questions and how to truly listen to one another. By the end of the weekend the students put their skills to practice by mediating in role play situations. Perhaps more importantly, they are now able to apply the skills they learned to their own lives.
Bonding time – Saturday night appreciation circle
The retreat was not all work. The students participated in several community building activities including an impromptu, student initiated, appreciation circle on Saturday night. In this big group activity, students shared what they appreciated about each other. Imagine your own son or daughter participating in such an activity. There is enormous benefit when young people hear peers saying wonderful things about them.
Special Guest Speaker, Jodi Cadman
Jodi Cadman, daughter of Dona and the late Chuck Cadman, both former MP’s, was the guest speaker for the weekend. Jodi is the older sister of Jesse Cadman. On October 18, 1992, Jesse, 16 years old, was fatally stabbed by a 17 year old young man while walking home from a bus stop. It was an unprovoked and random attack as the two were unknown to each other. Before the stabbing, the offender and his friends had been partaking in drugs and alcohol. When one of the individuals saw Jesse walking on the other side of the street, they decided to rush over and start beating him. Things escalated. The offender pulled out a knife and stabbed Jesse in the back, piercing his heart and lung. The youths fled, leaving Jesse to die on the side of the road. Police made an arrest a few days later. The 17 year old was charged and convicted of 2nd degree murder.
In 2008, Jodi was informed that the offender was applying for parole. She wondered what programs he had been doing in prison and how he had tried to reform his life. This need for information proved to be the catalyst for Jodi to enter into a Restorative Justice process and to eventually meet face to face with the young man who had killed her brother. Although not planning to do so, Jodi forgave him at the end of the meeting and continues to be in touch with him.
Jodi shared her story of tragic loss and inspirational forgiveness with the students. They heard about the benefit of Restorative Action and how important it is in transformational healing. The students were incredibly moved, and during the question and answer period they spoke to Jodi about transferring this learning to their own lives.
At the end of the retreat students were asked to fill out an evaluation form. These are some of their comments:
“I think it will help any children who are unsure of themselves and need help to deal with their problems.”
“I loved that I was learning skills that I never would have had before. They are so useful and they changed the way I think about a lot of things.”
“I think the training not only applies to mediation and conflict resolution but also to relationships in general and people skills.”
“Restorative Action helps me work out my problems with my friends and family and helps me be a better person and friend.”
“Loved it!”!
By empowering youth with these skills, they can help change their school culture for the better. As these student mediators become young adults, our communities will benefit from their peace building skills.
For more information about Restorative Action please contact:
Dan Basham 604.534.5515 danbasham@cjibc.org
Carol Griffiths 604.534.7891 carolgriffiths@sd35.bc.ca
